Welcome back for another transparent journey guys! I really appreciate your support by reading my letters.
Let us kick of the 2nd part of this journey shall we? If you haven't read last weeks letter, please go and read it real fast, for this is the 2nd half of the letter please! Last week I shared about my journey on becoming a worship leader and how God is asking me serious questions about my life and heart. Today I want to share about leadership and meekness!
Meek Leadership
These 2 are not actually suppose to be separate, but let me define meekness from my understanding of it. Meekness is power/authority under submission. Now I know that this may sound contradicting, I know but let me explain my journey then all will be clear!
About 6ish months ago I started this journey with God where I was so prideful, judgmental and plain stupid. I accepted this role as the judge of my world and the people surrounding me and this life crushed me completely. I thought that I was the king of my world and everyone else was underneath me. "Arrogant little pest" you are probably thinking, don't worry, I am thinking the same thing. I continued spiraling down into this deep dark hole called control and perfection. It caused me to seperate myself from my community and leadership, I felt worthless but superior, independent but yet loved some how?
Things started to escalate, my heart was so full of deceit I just couldn't hide it anymore and I broke. I wanted to leave this place and team, I blamed them for everything but then, out of my brokenness and 'finished mentality', God spoke. He gave me an entire download of what is wrong in my heart and told me to go ad repent before my whole team. Weepingly I went and out of desperation for healing I did, I repented and named by sin out loud and asked for forgiveness.
SO, how does all this conclude with meek leadership?
Knowing I am a leader and I am called by God to lead in many ways and places, I misused my authority and turned it for my own good. This is not how Jesus led, he dwelled with the least of those, loved his enemies and blessed his wrongdoers. He was perfect yet loved as if he has everything to give but yet acted as if he was a mere carpenter but KING. What gives us the right to think we are better than the next, loving better than others? Let us be a generation who is willing to lay our brokenness out for all to see so that God may be glorified when they see we have overcome the impossible, that God did the impossible, for that is meekness.
Hope you guys are provoked by this letter and start to walk in deeper meekness and love.
Love
Jan
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